Commonly asked questions and their trite responses

Q. When are you coming home?
A. The plan is to fly back to Cleveland on May 1.

Q. What is on your schedule right now?
A. Kids camp from Monday, Feb. 7 until Saturday, Feb. 12, in which I am a counselor, teacher, and a bunch of other stuff. Leading a kids club on Saturday afternoons and teaching for our college and career age group that meets on Saturday evenings. Each Sunday in February I am preaching for the morning service and as of this morning am in charge of the Pastoral duties of our church as Pastor Evelio has to take a month of vacation by law.

Q. What food do you miss the most?
A. Big, juicy hamburgers and frozen pizza

Q. Is it hot there?
A. Yes

Q. Are you gaining weight?
A. Obviously you missed the update about the parasites

Q. Are you pretty good in Spanish?
A. I can say, "Two Big Mac´s and a fry, please."